Devotion (Club Destiny #7) Read online

  He and Luke were getting closer, both on a personal as well as a professional level. They had finally developed a level of trust that was critical to the success of their relationship. And maybe Luke wasn’t always shouting his love, but that was what Cole had come to expect from him. Sure, he’d like a little reassurance from time to time, but he accepted Luke for who he was. Changing him wasn’t in the cards, nor did Cole want it to be. He wouldn’t have stuck around if he truly thought Luke didn’t love him.

  Maybe this could be chalked up to hormones. Cole knew they were all a little antsy these days, both fear and anxiety from becoming new parents were intensifying as the weeks progressed. They had yet to have a full conversation about some of the logistics, such as the baby’s last name, which Cole knew was inevitable. Biologically, and on record, there could only be one father. The subject alone had presented some conflict in their relationship early on.

  Thanks to his conversation with his stepbrother, Tag, Cole had attempted to address the issue with Luke. He was told not to be ridiculous in so many words; however, he could see some concern in Luke’s eyes. Not that the man ever would admit as much.

  “I love him, Sierra, just as I love you. I don’t expect things to be easy between us. This isn’t a traditional relationship. We have to expect a few bumps along the way.”

  “Yes, there will be bumps, I know that,” she argued. “That doesn’t mean that you and Luke have to drift apart.”

  “Did you lie about being tired the other night just to push us together?”

  Sierra looked away again, and Cole knew the truth. She was trying to get them closer.

  He wanted to tell her that the alone time wasn’t going to be what brought him and Luke closer. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that there was a connection they’d yet to make and in Cole’s eyes, it was a piece that would likely change them both forever.

  “So, you’re telling me I shouldn’t worry?” Sierra asked, sounding both distraught and a little relieved.

  “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” Cole smiled. “This isn’t temporary. We’re in this for the long haul. Right now, we all need to be focused on the baby. I’m pretty sure the rest will work itself out.”

  At least Cole hoped it would.

  Chapter Seven

  One week later…

  Cole couldn’t pinpoint what the issue was, but over the last few days, he’d come to one conclusion: he had to talk to Alex. He needed to confront the man and try to get them on the same page because at the moment, he feared they were reading from different books.

  Ever since Alex set him up on that debacle of a meeting with Carson Throckmorton, the man hadn’t been acting like himself. He was vague in his direction, and even somewhat standoffish. As much as Cole wanted to believe that Dylan was the only reason for all of the changes taking place, something told him that wasn’t the case.

  Walking into the office of CISS, Cole peered in the small section that Jake and Nate had commandeered as an office that they both shared during the few times they weren’t out in the field. Neither of them were in. Not surprising.

  Cole continued, stopping to peek in Dylan’s office. He wasn’t in either, but that was to be expected. He hadn’t seen or heard from Dylan in at least a few weeks, even though Cole had left him a couple of messages in the last few days, suggesting they get together to talk. Based on what everyone was telling him, he shouldn’t have been surprised at Dylan’s avoidance.

  After giving the situation a lot of thought, Cole realized what was going on with Alex probably wasn’t entirely work related. Considering the man was about to get married to Dylan’s sister, the whole situation was a little more personal than he had anticipated. Even if Alex wasn’t admitting as much.

  As he continued to the next office, directly across from the one that Alex had assigned to him, Cole stopped. He could hear Alex’s voice, and based on the long pauses and one sided discussion, it was clear he was on the phone. The door was open so Cole poked his head in, wanting to let Alex know he was there. Just when he was going to escape to his office until Alex was finished, his boss waved him inside.

  Hesitantly, he moved forward, foregoing the chair opposite Alex’s desk. He opted to lean up against the wall just in case Alex ended up needing more privacy for the phone call. Not to mention, there was no telling how the conversation he intended to have was going to go, and Cole wasn’t interested in staying long if Alex opted to avoid his questions as had become his M.O.

  “Thanks. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Alex said to the person on the other end before returning the phone to its cradle. “Hey.” Alex spared him a quick glance, taking a deep breath, looking both tired and agitated.

  “I can come back if you need me to.” Cole didn’t like that idea, but he didn’t want to barge in on Alex if he wasn’t prepared to talk either.

  “No, it’s fine. Take a seat. You make me nervous hovering above me like that,” Alex stated, his attempt at humor falling flat.

  Cole took a seat in the chair across from Alex, resting his hands on his stomach and crossing one ankle over the opposite knee, hoping he appeared more relaxed than he felt.

  “What brings you in?”

  “Oh, you know, I just figured it was time you and I talked,” Cole said calmly.

  “About?” Alex sounded genuinely surprised.

  “First of all, you’re both frustrated and pissed off. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’ve known you for quite some time. It’s obvious something’s wrong.”

  “Fuck.” Alex’s frustrated exhale was followed by him leaning back in his chair and thrusting his hands through his hair.

  “Problems?”

  Alex didn’t immediately respond, instead turning to face the picture window behind him, offering up a fairly decent view of the Dallas skyline in the distance. Without getting an answer, Cole knew there were issues. Thankfully, he and Alex had been friends for a while, so he felt fairly comfortable asking the difficult questions, but in doing so, he knew he might risk affecting their working relationship. Since Alex was doing a fine job of the latter all on his own, Cole decided to take his chances.

  “What the hell’s going on?” Cole broke the silence after a couple of minutes, figuring it was now or never.

  “It’s Dylan,” Alex said after a long pause.

  “What’s Dylan?” Cole knew Dylan had been having problems with depression brought on with his wife’s death over eight years before, and from what he learned recently, it wasn’t getting any better. There for a short while, Dylan appeared to be on the mend somewhat, even dating Jake’s aunt, Sarah. But lately, after having taken two steps forward, it appeared Dylan was in the process of taking twenty steps back. He’d become an almost permanent fixture, bellied up to the bar at the club as Luke was to tell it.

  “He’s drinking. A lot.” Alex turned to face Cole and the concern on his face said it all. There was no misunderstanding the look in his eyes.

  “How bad?”

  “Bad.”

  “Have you tried to talk to him about it?” Cole knew Luke hadn’t because he’d asked him recently. Luke wasn’t known for his emotional, heartfelt conversations, and quite frankly, Cole was pretty sure Luke avoided them at all costs.

  “A few weeks ago, maybe. I tried talking to him, but as you can see,” Alex motioned with his hands as though signifying the fact that Dylan wasn’t there, “he’s not talking to me much anymore.”

  “Did you ask him if he had a drinking problem?”

  Alex glared back at him, seemingly offended by the question. “I did. And just like I expected, he told me that he was fine and that it wasn’t any of my business.”

  “Have you talked to Sarah?” Cole had never spoken with her, but since she was the only one who had gotten fairly close to Dylan recently, he figured it was worth a shot.

  “No. Ashleigh did though. She didn’t have much to say, aside from the fact that Dylan called it quits. She said they hadn’t gotten that close, but she was w
orried.”

  From Cole’s perspective, it sounded like Dylan was definitely trying to hide a drinking problem. He wondered how far back this problem went.

  “I know you’re pissed at me,” Alex added, turning to face him once more, “and I don’t blame you. Dylan’s not coming into the office at all these days and as much as I want to send Jake out on his own, I’m just not that comfortable yet. He’s handling most of it, but I still need someone a little more… mature, I guess is the right word.”

  “Has Ashleigh tried to talk to him?” Cole avoided the obvious, choosing not to confirm or deny Alex’s assumption about his anger. Yes, he was pissed. But Alex and Dylan were friends, and they both deserved the benefit of the doubt.

  Alex’s face fell as he appeared to prepare his answer. Cole didn’t try to rush him, figuring he’d get the information sooner or later.

  “Ashleigh’s pregnant,” Alex finally blurted, sad green eyes peering up at him.

  Cole sat up straight, an impending sense of fear lodging in his chest. He would’ve expected Alex to be shouting the news from the rooftops. Unless, of course, there was a problem. He couldn’t bring himself to ask anything else, so he waited, not so patiently for Alex to continue.

  Sierra and Ashleigh had forged a friendship almost since the moment they met, and it was surprising that she didn’t know about the pregnancy. Or if she did, she didn’t mention it to him. Cole didn’t think she knew because he couldn’t imagine her keeping something like that from him and Luke. Then again, if there were problems, maybe Ashleigh had asked her not to.

  “She’s not very far along, but she’s had some spotting and some cramping. The doctor told her that everything’s fine. For now. As you can imagine, she’s scared.” Alex paused, swallowing hard. “I’m scared.”

  Cole wasn’t sure he was breathing. He couldn’t even imagine what Alex and Ashleigh were going through. He’d been a nervous wreck since they found out that Sierra was pregnant and up to this point, things had gone exactly as expected.

  “Does Dylan know?”

  “Are you kidding?” Alex pushed up out of his chair. “You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to tell him, to beat him over the head and let him know that his sister is petrified that she’s going to lose our baby, and he’s not helping the situation. I can’t do it to him, man. He’s hurting. When I try to put myself in his shoes, try to imagine what it would feel like to lose Ashleigh, I’m not sure I’d be in as good of shape as he’s in now.”

  Cole couldn’t argue with Alex’s logic. If he put himself in Dylan’s shoes, he wasn’t sure he’d be sane even eight years later.

  “Has anyone tried to talk to him? Maybe someone who knows him better?” Cole knew that Logan was probably the closest to Dylan, but he had no idea whether anyone would be able to get through to him at the moment.

  “Logan’s tried. He succeeded about as well as we did. Ashleigh’s refusing to get married until Dylan is better, but hell, I’m not sure that’ll ever happen.”

  Cole sympathized with Alex. He knew the man was ready to get married, and the fact that they were expecting meant he was probably even more anxious. They were already planning, down to the details from what Cole had heard, but it sounded as though Ashleigh might just push it off if Dylan kept going down this path.

  If the three of them had already tried talking to Dylan, Cole wasn’t sure anyone would be able to get through to him, but he couldn’t imagine not trying. Clearly Dylan didn’t want to talk, but sometimes people had to do things they didn’t want to do.

  “Do you know why he broke it off with Sarah?”

  “No clue. It doesn’t sound like she knows either. That, or whatever happened between them was enough to make her want to keep quiet. A few weeks ago, they got into an argument, and Dylan walked out on her. I heard that much from Jake. Although she told Ashleigh they weren’t that close, I get the impression that she’s taking it hard.”

  Cole knew Jake was highly protective of his aunt. The woman had practically raised him after her sister realized she didn’t want kids – unfortunately that was after Jake was born. Sarah was several years younger than Jake’s mother, but she had stepped up to the plate, along with Jake’s grandmother, from what Cole remembered. According to bits and pieces of conversations he’d heard, Sarah had been married at one point, although he wasn’t sure what had happened there, but he knew she didn’t have any children of her own.

  If he thought it would do any good, he’d be willing to talk to Dylan, but of all of them, he knew him the least. They worked together closely when McKenna Thorne was going through some issues with the man who blackmailed Luke and Logan, but it wasn’t like they’d actually had any personal conversations. And since Dylan wasn’t returning his phone calls, it was pretty clear that Cole wasn’t high on his list of people to talk to about anything, much less his problems.

  “So, this is the reason you’re piling all of this shit on me?” Cole spoke his mind clearly, doing his level best to keep everything he’d just learned in mind.

  It was clear that Alex had a lot on his mind lately, and between the pregnancy and Dylan going off the grid, it made sense that Alex was leaning on him.

  Alex nodded but didn’t say anything.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” It was one thing for Alex to need help, it was entirely different for him to pile the shit on Cole when he wasn’t expecting it.

  Another shrug from Alex.

  Cole hated that he’d walked in here fully intending to lay into Alex for being so damn selfish, when it turns out that Cole was the one being selfish. He wasn’t fond of the idea of moving forward in this capacity, almost positive he was going to burn out quickly, but from what he’d learned in the last half hour, it wasn’t like he had much of a choice.

  “I need you to explain it to me, Alex. I’m barely hanging on here. In the past week, I’ve been tempted to tell you to shove this job up your fucking ass and just leave you high and dry. At the very least, I deserve an explanation. I’m not fond of being kept in the dark.”

  The stunned look on Alex’s face told Cole that he’d pretty much laid his feelings on the line there.

  And for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t worried about offending anyone else.

  Chapter Eight

  With the day pretty well shot to shit after the meeting with Alex, Cole opted to head home. If he was lucky, Luke and Sierra would be there, and he’d have a chance to have dinner with them both. For some reason, after the conversation he had with Alex, he felt the need to be close to them.

  Due to their schedules, they didn’t get to have a lot of down time these days, but he was hoping today would be different. If they didn’t learn to slow down a little, it was likely they were all going to burn out at some point, not just him.

  Based on the last real conversation he’d had with Sierra over lunch, he was pretty sure they were rapidly heading in that direction without even realizing it. It occurred to him that they’d somehow managed to stop talking like they used to and that worried him on more than just one level. As much as he tried to convince himself that this was just one of those instances where life gets in the way, and you wake up to realize that the important things were left behind, Cole was worried they were taking some very valuable things for granted.

  Maybe his conversation with Alex had affected him more than he thought.

  When he walked in the back door, he found Sierra sitting at the kitchen table, a mess of things cluttered in front of her. Leaning down, he kissed her on the top of her head before making his way to the refrigerator where he retrieved a beer and returned to stand beside her.

  “Luke here yet?”

  “No,” she said, not looking up from the pattern she was looking at.

  “Did he say when he’d be here?” It was painfully clear already that he wasn’t going to be getting Sierra’s full attention tonight.

  “Late. He told us not to wait up for him.”

  Cole nodded his head and
turned to walk out of the room. It was clear she was busy, and Luke obviously was too. It wasn’t like he didn’t expect it. There was so much going on at the club, and Sierra had been working with a new client for the last week which kept her plenty occupied.

  Foregoing the living room where he normally would find a way to pass the time, Cole went out on the back patio with his beer. The days were shorter, and the sun was going down quickly, but it was still warm for January, so he figured he might as well enjoy it while he could.

  Cole had never been big on being cooped up in the house, always preferring the outdoors. That’s part of why he liked his job with Alex because he was always on the go and very rarely stuck inside. Would that change if Dylan went off the deep end and Alex was forced to make some significant changes, he thought to himself.

  He had just sat down when his cell phone rang. He glanced down at the screen to see it was Luke and promptly answered. “Hey.”

  “Hey back,” Luke greeted, sounding unusually upbeat. “Why don’t you and Sierra come down to the club for dinner? I can’t get away, but I’d like to see you.”

  Cole’s stomach tightened, and a chill ran through him. The times when Luke said so much in one instance were few and far between. For him actually to ask to see them was even more infrequent than a sentence with more than ten words in it.

  “Will do. I just walked in the door, but I’ll talk to Sierra and we’ll head that way.”

  “See you then,” Luke said and the phone disconnected.

  Cole finished his beer and then went back in the house to find Sierra in the same spot, only this time there were more patterns and swatches spread out before her.

  “Luke wants us to come down to the club for dinner. You up for it?”

  Sierra stopped what she was doing and looked up at him for the first time. He knew instantly that this wasn’t going to go the way he had hoped it would.